Troy Chapman's latest commutation application, submitted in mid-2021, was denied earlier this year (2022). Other posts in this blog have explained the legal circumstances that have kept Troy in prison for the last 38 years (even as prisoners with longer sentences and harsher charges have been freed) despite his efforts to atone for his crime and help other inmates lead ethical lives. We've asked why the Michigan Department of Corrections has not at least sent his commutation application on to the governor with a recommendation that he may have earned clemency.
There's nothing more we can say, so we'll place here the text of Troy's last application so anyone coming to this page can learn more about Troy's background, his killing of Scott C., and what he has done in the ensuing 38 years. Certain names have been deleted to protect their privacy.
Question 3
I am seeking commutation of my 60-90 year sentence for a second degree murder. I committed and am guilty of this crime. In committing it, I caused untold pain and suffering, not only to the direct victims, but to many others not mentioned in the descriptions below. I know that for every direct victim there are numerous unnamed others and I want to acknowledge them here. On the night of Nov. 24, 1984, I went to a bar in Lincoln Lake, MI, where a man I'd spent the night drinking with accused me of making a pass at his wife, grabbed me and we both (being drunk) fell to the floor. As we wrestled ineffectively, Mr. Scott Chandler intervened, pulled us up and apart, and shoved me about 10 feet across the floor of the bar. I drew a knife and when he crossed to where I was standing I stabbed him, taking his life.
This crime was the culmination of several years of worsening disintegration in my life. No single thing led to this unraveling but rather several things, driven by my own bad choices, and came together to create a perfect horrible storm in and around me that, once set in motion, fed on itself until it ended in my tragic decision to take Mr. Chandler's life.
Question 4
I am requesting commutation because I've spent my time in prison understanding the magnitude of my crimes, what went wrong in my life, and becoming a person who not only can never harm anyone again but who is an active and committed activist against everything I represented prior to this crime.
When my troubles began, my life wasn't that bad on the outside — I had food, a place to stay etc. — but inside I was living in hell. It began after my stepfather, Kenny, drowned during a family outing when I was 11 years old. Kenny was the father of my three younger brothers, but not of me, and shortly before the accident he disciplined me and my younger brothers for wrestling around in our room when we were supposed to be in bed. I screamed at him that he wasn't my dad and then, secretly, I wished he were dead, thinking, if he was gone my real dad might come back.
Shortly after this he drowned and I became convinced it was because of my wish. This terrible certainty first occurred to me as I stood on the floating dock and watched him drown a few yards from me. As he called out for help and surfaced three separate times, I tried to take back the wish, then I tried to undo it physically by diving into the water to save him, but I failed.
My mother was devastated and went into a long depression; my three younger brothers were lost and confused and I believed I had caused all this. I tried to step in and be a father to my brothers but instead of addressing their grief, which I didn't know how to do, I simply attempted to discipline them (my idea of being an "adult"). This only caused them to act out more and drove a wedge between us when we desperately needed each other, and I felt like I had failed yet again.
Over the next two years I became more and more angry, confused, and guilt-ridden. By age 13 or 14, I woke every morning in mental anguish. Many adults in my life were mired in substance abuse and I chose to cover my painful feelings and the failure behind them by drinking and taking drugs that I stole from the adults around me wherever I could find them.
By the time I was 16 years old, my anguish and anger had hardened into rage and my drug abuse had become a desperate daily attempt at self-medicating. That year, at age 16, I committed an armed robbery and started down a path of crime that ultimately ended in my taking Mr. Chandler's life four years later. A neighbor had shown me a handgun and I turned it on him and ordered him to give me his money and drive me to a nearby town, where I intended to buy a bus ticket away from my life. En route I ordered him to stop at a party store, originally intending to have him buy more alcohol, then on impulse I robbed the store as well. During the robbery I attempted to call my sister from a phone in the store and heard someone (I know now it was the store owners who lived upstairs) reporting the robbery to the police and, after attempting to cover up my behavior by telling the police there was no robbery, I ordered the clerk, a young girl, to go with us and we drove slowly toward Greenville until the police stopped us and I surrendered.
I pled guilty to armed robbery and felony firearm almost two years later and spent a little over two years in prison.
When I came to prison as a teenager for the armed robbery I could have tried to turn my life around. Instead, I chose to continue down the same criminal path. When I was released to a halfway house in 1984 I checked out and did not return. I spent the next two weeks hiding from authorities and drinking before I committed this crime of taking Mr. Chandler's life.
After my conviction for second degree murder, the probation officer who did my PSI said there was "very little chance I could be rehabilitated" and should therefore be given "a very long" term in prison.
The judge agreed and used similar language when he sentenced me to 60-90 years.
Truthfully, I understand why they concluded this and I do not offer the above childhood trauma as an excuse for my crime. I include it here rather to demonstrate my insight into how my response to things that happened to me led to my criminal behavior. I had no such insight at the time of my sentence but, having acquired it later, I feel it is important to mention because it was the key to me changing: If my response to painful events in my life was a door to my criminal actions, then I could choose a different door going forward. Prior to this I told myself that people around me were "making" me behave in certain ways with their actions toward me.
When I gained this insight I became very serious about exercising this power to choose my response to the world around me, turning it into a non-violence practice in the tradition of Martin Luther King, Jr., where nonviolence is seen not only as a "refusal to shoot a man, but also a refusal to hate him." This practice of refusing to hit or hate is powerful in any environment: in prison it was transformative. I have had to rethink almost everything I believed about justice, manhood, my "rights" and hundreds of other life-guiding ideas in order to maintain my commitment to this practice. Yet I have accomplished it and the fruits of it aren't merely that I have lived this way for these decades in prison, but that it has become who I am as well as my mission in life. I have become a force for nonviolence and non-hatred in the world. I will never stop speaking about it, writing about it, creating and teaching classes about it, or searching for new ways to get people to take up the cause and find ways to resolve differences with mutual love and respect.
This mission has given me two things I desperately needed: a sense of deep meaningfulness and real work in the world and a way to atone in some small way for the harm I've done.
Question 5
I've taken responsibility and am deeply remorseful for my crimes. Yet, these are only words. I have tried my best to give them substance by living a life built on them.
This began when I changed the question, "What does life owe me?” to "What do I owe life and my community?" as a guide to how I should live. I present my "accomplishments" in this light: as evidence that I have tried to turn my remorse into active atonement and to adopt this as my life's work, not as something I'm seeking reward for.
With this said, I know you want to see what, if any, actions support my words. Below are three examples:
a) The Wholeness Project
b) My work with Paws with a Cause
c) My continued education and personal development
a) The Wholeness Project
I started the Wholeness Project at old Kinross in 2005 because I saw a need for a place where men could pool their wisdom and discuss the basic question of how to be good people and live more meaningful lives. To set up some guardrails for this "Ongoing Conversation" as we called it, I asked the men to think of life as four relationships — with Ourselves, Others, Nature, and the Transcendent/Sacred — and ask the question, "How can we create wholeness in these relationships rather than brokenness?" We focused on following our principles instead of our feelings even when our feelings seem overpowering. Our groups of 15-25 men had deep conversations in which we laughed together, cried, confessed when we weren't "keeping it real" and came alive over time with hope and reconnection.
Each session began with a quick check-up on everyone. If someone brought something like a death in the family or something they were struggling with, that topic could preempt the agenda. If not, then I or a guest facilitator would do a 10-20 minute presentation on some aspect of wholeness thinking and practice. This would be followed by questions and dialog. We also kept track of and acknowledged birthdays, accomplishments and struggles. Once a man with terminal cancer came to us seeking community and we spent the next several weeks asking him questions, allowing him to share his feelings about dying, tell us his stories and, when asked, helping him stand and remove his shirt so he could show us what the cancer had done to him. He died soon after and we continued to talk about our experience so the men could process it. Our rule was “Care first, teach later” and was based on my belief that these kinds of "humanizing" experiences were more important to wholeness, healing and development of empathy than any amount of information.
In 2011, I wrote a book to support these discussions, which was published by supporters of the work and is free to anyone in or associated with prisons. (See parole board file for copy.) After reading the book, MCF's Warden Burt gave me permission to start a version of the program as part of an Honor Unit she created. It's been very successful, bringing meaning and contemplative community to the men in this facility since 2014. I have trained others to facilitate the classes, created two other classes called, "Values over Violence" and "Duty, Honor and Wholeness." It expanded beyond the unit to the school building and became available to all MCF prisoners and was very successful in this larger venue as well.
To extend this philosophy of "being well by doing good,” I also created a community service aspect of the group where alumni of classes could meet to support each other, discuss the concepts further and plan ways to apply them to helping our community. We donated toiletries for prisoners who didn't have them, volunteered to clean areas of the unit, informally mediated conflicts, and advocated community consciousness and civic duty.
Has it had an impact? MCF's unit 5, where we were based before Covid, only had one serious fight since 2014 and very little other destructive behavior. I'm certainly not suggesting that this was due solely to our wholeness community, yet I do think the culture of respect we advocate has definitely supported the many other things Warden Burt and other staff here, particularly former PCs Van Slooten and Howard, have done to achieve this noteworthy outcome.
We had to stop classes due to Covid 19 but members of the group continue to advocate community awareness and do community service (cleaning and making sure people get toiletries if they need them, for example).
If released I intend to continue this work in whatever community I go to and, after I am fully adjusted, reach back into prisons with video courses, as well as provide aftercare support for returning citizens based on this material.
b) Paws with a Cause
The second example is my work with Paws with a Cause, training dogs as service animals for people with autism and other difficulties. I've been doing this work for five years and just sent my 13th dog out.
After not being able to even touch a dog for 30 years, this has been one of the most rewarding and centering experiences I've had in prison. Needless to say, prisoners are closely screened for this program and it's a high-trust position. I have been in the program since it started at this facility.
When my cell-mate and I first interviewed for the job, staff thought we would do well but that I was too busy with the Wholeness Project, so they passed us over. Then on the day of the first dogs' arrival, our PC called us and said extra dogs had come in and they needed us to take one after all. We did, and though the extra work has definitely been a challenge to manage, with the help of a good partner (we work in teams), I have stuck with it. Each time one of the dogs leaves I feel a deep sense of accomplishment and satisfaction knowing that something I did with the animal will help people outside prison. Our outside trainers asked us to lay our heads on the dogs as part of their training because autistic children do this as a way to regather themselves when feeling overwhelmed. I don't have autism but I recall doing this as a young child with our family dogs and the sense of peace and well-being it gave me. It's a small thing, but to teach a dog to lie still so a child can experience that peace is a huge thing to me.
While it's rewarding, it's also challenging. Some have said it's like taking care of a two-year-old and I can see that. When they need to eat, they need to eat; when they need to use the bathroom — whether it's 2:00 am or 2:00 pm — they have to go. When they cry and wake you in the middle of the night because they're sick or scared, you have to deal with it.
Yet it's also amazing and healing to be needed in that way by another creature. Maybe this is why there is rapidly mounting evidence of the positive impact of dogs in prison, helping with rehabilitation and success after release.
In addition to all the personal development this work has facilitated in me, it has also given me an entirely new and marketable skillset to take with me should I be released.
c) Continued Education and Personal Development
Lastly, my continuing education and personal development has become a lifestyle that I can't imagine ever abandoning. Early in my sentence I realized that my thinking and lack of self-governance was my problem rather than anything outside myself. This was only an inkling, but the more I read, the more firmly convinced I became of this as well as another thing: that the remedy was not some piece of knowledge (or circumstance) that, once found, would solve my problems, but rather a lifelong habit of exploring virtue and confronting my own perceptions and rationalizations.
This may seem like an unsophisticated response to my crime and failures, but I have come to believe, with Aristotle, that being a good person is a habit and, like Ben Franklin, who made an actual list of "virtues" that he would practice throughout his life, I have made every effort to train myself in the habit of being in right-relationship with the world.
Before I came to prison I could count the books I'd read on one finger. Reading has since become such an integral part of my character that I can't count the books I've read. It's like gathering wood for a fire. Who counts the sticks? It's a daily task if you want the light and heat of the fire. Just as important is contemplation and writing — feeding the stick to the flame, banking the coals, and knowing when to stop and when to add more.
What are the practical results of this lifestyle? I once ran into someone who had been my best friend when I first came to prison. We hadn't seen each other for over two decades and after catching up on the news of each others' lives we really had nothing more to talk about and began drifting apart. At one point he said ruefully, "You've changed.” I don't know if he meant it as a criticism but it was said in reference to us not having much in common anymore because he hadn’t changed. This is a practical benefit of this approach to life: that I can hope to be a different (and hopefully better) person today than I was yesterday, maybe a little kinder, less arrogant, more creative, and more of a beneficial presence in the world
In terms of specific skills, I would cite the ability to communicate in many different situations with many different kinds of people.
Another is the skill of teachability. I am open to and even eager to learn. Having once been unteachable, I know how important and beneficial this skill is. I think hiding my ignorance (or trying to) was a big part of my criminality. I wish I could have just said to someone, "I don't know how to be a man, or get a job, or ask a girl out on a date." Whether it's how to bag groceries at the local market or opening a checking account, I have no shame or hesitation now about asking people to teach me. I can't imagine a circumstance where this will not be helpful.
I will close with this: I used to think that a "no" of any kind was a restriction on my freedom, but I have realized that telling myself “no” is the only way to actually be free because it's the key to governing myself and not making others do so. As such, I've developed self-control that has allowed me to follow the rules in prison, and all the rules and laws on the outside should I be released.
This is evident in my disciplinary history. Though I had several write-ups in the first decade of my incarceration (see enclosed disciplinary summary), I've been ticket-free since 1996.
Question 6
If granted commutation I will be paroling to Lansing, MI. My longtime friend and supporter, XXXX, lives and works in Lansing and will help lay the groundwork (such as identifying possible rentals) prior to my arrival. She has also pledged to support me in everyday, immediate needs such as transportation, shopping for new clothes, identifying potential job openings, etc. As to housing, I intend to rent a room of my own, with XXXX's help. See her support letter in this package for contact information.
Also, my sister, XXXX, and her husband, live in Greenville and will be available for general support. Although I didn't know XXXX growing up (she was adopted out before I was born) she and I have developed and maintained a strong bond since she located the family in the '90s.
XXXX, whose letter of support is also enclosed, has been in my life on a daily basis for the past two decades. She has pledged full support to me, including financial support for rent, transportation, and so forth. This will include all areas of need for as long as necessary. I intend to be self-sufficient as soon as possible but her generous support gives me a safety net that is invaluable. I have contributed to this arrangement by turning over to her all the stimulus money we recently received. Furthermore, I will keep track of all costs incurred by her and will repay it on a payment plan. Ms. XXXX is smart about and extremely disciplined in financial matters and in addition to her generous offer of financial support she will also be mentoring me in setting up a budget and managing my finances.
In addition, Doug and Matt Tjapkes of Humanity for Prisoners (HFP) have indicated they will be available for counsel and references, and general help in my success. I've known Doug and worked with HFP for many years, and their experience helping returning citizens succeed will be yet another pillar supporting my own success. One of the ways I intend to give back is by contributing to the good work of HFP and other groups that do similar work. Many such groups are headquartered in the Lansing area and I plan to contact them for support at first and to offer mine to them as I get on my feet. If I can use my life experience to help others not reoffend, I intend to make that experience available.
I am very appreciative of all these generous offers of support but my goal is to be gainfully employed as soon as possible. I have several marketable skills and will begin looking for work immediately upon release. I want to emphasize I am willing to take any job I can get and, if it isn't what I want, I will use it as a stepping stone to get that. With this said, some of my job skills include:
*Custodial Maintenance
I am certified and have done custodial maintenance work in prison for many years with excellent work reports. This includes blood-spill training, which I certified for many years ago and have re-certified annually for the past several years as a requirement for my dog-training job. I enjoy working as a custodian and it provides many opportunities for employment. It can be done as an employee or as piecework. I am eligible for federal bonding which may help overcome reluctance to hiring an ex-felon.
*Dog Training and Basic Husbandry
I have done this work with the Michigan nonprofit Paws with a Cause for five years, which has included weekly training by Paws staff and supervision by MDOC staff. I plan to offer my services as a volunteer at a local shelter/rescue and apply for a job with them. This work, however, can also be marketed as a freelance service in the form of dog-walking, -sitting, and basic training and so can be a source of supplemental income if not full employment.
*Wholeness Work
I have also done wholeness and nonviolence work, writing, and teaching for much of the last two decades as part of my "Wholeness Project." I believe I can eventually support myself with this work but it's something I will continue to do even if I'm not employed by it. This will include offering classes online, which I have created and written guides for here in prison. It will also include continuing to write and creating an organizational structure around this work. This is my longterm goal after release and, eventually, when I've completed parole, I will offer these services back to prisoners and returning citizens.
I am aware that there is a danger of people getting out taking on too many commitments to "helping others" and being overwhelmed by it, but I've been doing this work for so long it is thoroughly integrated into who I am and not something I'm just dreaming about doing upon release. It's not something I do because I'm whole, but is the very process of my wholeness; my wellness is deeply connected to my service to wellness around me.
In conclusion, I want to say that the longterm relationships I have developed with many people both outside and inside are the core of my stability and wellness (as well as the best evidence of it). I have come to believe that these deep roots into the lives around us are the real measure of the fabled "Good Life," and they are only possible by being faithful and worthy of faith. This application is, in the last analysis, me asking you to have faith in me, in the power of good, and in the ability of people to change despite all evidence to the contrary.
I have changed and if you see something in me and in the people who have stepped forward on my behalf, that tips the scales in favor of you putting your faith in me, I won't ever give you reason to regret it.
Thank you sincerely.
